Ca plane pour moi.
It's been so long...is it a good thing that I don't need this anymore?

When I was young and knew everything
And she a punk who rarely ever took advice
Now I’m guilt stricken,
Sobbing with my head on the floor
Stop a baby’s breath and a shoe full of rice

I can’t be held responsible
Cause she was touching her face
I won’t be held responsible
She fell in love in the first place

For the life of me I cannot remember
What made us think that we were wise and
We’d never compromise
For the life of me cannot believe
We’d ever die for these sins
We were merely freshmen

My best friend took a week’s
Vacation to forget her
His girl took a week’s worth of
Valium and slept
Now he’s guilt stricken sobbing with his
Head on the floor
Think’s about her now and how he never really
Wept he says

We’ve tried to wash our hands of all of this
We never talk of our lacking relationships
And how we’re guilt stricken sobbing with our
Heads on the floor
We fell through the ice when we tried not to
Slip, we’d say

"Learn to laugh. I know it's kind of hard. There are different ways to get over things: sometimes you have to just stand there and watch yourself cry all alone and make yourself cry harder and sometimes you have to talk through it with someone. Anyone. Just say what you have to and get it all out and share it with somebody so they get it too. And sometimes you have to get like all angry and start screaming. That's always fun. And sometimes you have to just laugh at yourself. Laugh at the world, at your family and friends, at your life, at school, laugh at everything that's screwing you over. Whether its a new problem or something that's never been able to go away, see it for something else. something better. And then maybe you'll come to find what little good may have come out of it and what you've taken from it or what you've learned. That sounds all fake and stupid but ive done it and it works.

Here's to the new year. Start over. We'll be different people at the stroke of midnight. There are going to be 365 days for you and me. Make what you want from them. All that time to be whoever we damn well please. Don't screw it up - it's the only 2006 you're gonna get."

OK so today we went to the "Petrified Forest." It was awesome. So we go and it'll be $11 for me and my dad which is kind of a lot considering we went to see the giant redwoods in a nice big national park for $3 a few days ago. But we do it, because we don't really have anywhere else to be. Walk into the ticket desk/"museum" and it smells SO bad. Like, I don't even know what it was. But it was pretty overwhelming. We bought the tickets and walked onto the little gravel path and there's this big tree hunk, right away. Not petrified (covered in volcanic ash and now stone), though. Just a tree. So you read the sign and it's like "this part of a tree showed up here on whatever date. It is smaller than the tree over there." That's actually what it said. Who the fuck cares if it's smaller than another tree?? It's like...ok... So then you start walking and there are all these inane signs like "Trees take a long time to become petrified." Oh, thank you, that was so informative. This whole time my dad and I are like cracking up. And all the signs are spelled wrong, awful grammar, bad punctuation. It honestly seemed like they had a second-grader write them. Finally, we get to the first tree. It's like half in this mucky little pond...it's named "The Queen"...all gated off - why? to protect it??? And then you start running into all these other trees named like "The Giant" and "The Mother." Oh, and in the forest on the sides of the path, there are these little garden gnomes/dwarves just like there for no reason. And there was this crazy kid who didnt listen to his parents AT ALL who would like jump at you with a stick...all in all it was pretty fucking awesome. I'm totally going back. :)

Yeah it's kinda cold here...grr. Not really - like 50's plus wind. I guess it's better than home.

Oh so I just finished reading Bee Season…wow. Definitely recommend it to anybody and now I have to go see the movie. Although I wish I had read the book before I saw even the trailer for the movie because the whole time I was reading it I was only picturing Richard Gere, Juliette Binoche, Max Minghella. lol he has some…interesting…scenes in the book so actually I didn’t mind that particular predisposition. Ah i’m such a perv. I love it. But anyway it’s about this family who seems, if not exactly functional, then at least OK and then everything just kind of unravels over the course of the book. It’s really well written because you get really sucked in and then at the end the camera kind of pans out in your head and you’re like hold on what the hell are they doing? So yeah read it…it’s good. And I just discovered like an hour ago that max is english!! so that upped the hotness, as i said to meredith, by about 3473789746%. And...hm. I had reallyreally good butternut squash ravioli for dinner the other night. It was really rich and almost dessert-like. Oh I got my mixer for x-mas! In grape! :D

I just went on a music binge and got some pretty cool indie-ish stuff. And i had a purevolume binge a few days ago. So it's a mix of the usual emo and some new stuff I actually got from a NPR show (who knew) that was counting down like the best music of 2005. So here's the playlist - definitely check some of these people out if you haven't heard of them.
( Nobody ever plans to sleep out in the gutter, sometimes that's just the most comfortable place. )

Oh and if you haven't downloaded Lazy Sunday from iTMS yet...I'm not talking to you. Chris and Andy are my life.
P.S. George Weasley and I hooked up ;)

Because I have spent the majority of the last two days laughing hysterically, this is the...inside joke entry! YAY!

Oh and before we get started ladies and gentlemen let's just say hi to Meredith because I hate her/am soooo jealous of her right now. Have fun! *mwah*
Okey dokey

Typical Winsor HW assignment notebook: Finish opium. Practice plagiarism. Mate golgulacs.

MUN. Or, the 45 minutes in which we wonder where Berg buys her drugs.
L: "I'm in the Committee on Population. We're doing...the sex industry and family planning."
Berg: "Typecasting!"
Freshmen and heads: OMG WTF.

Instrumentale: Comedy Hour/Becker's guilt trip
M: "And the snow was just like...bloozshing against the windows-"
C: "What did the snow do?"
M: "Bloozsh!"

"Don't be Late-cy!"
"...good one abby."

"Check us out! Eye contact...hand contact."

B, randomly: "Your socks have eyes!"

L: "Wait - new thought? I thought this was an old thought."
B: "We're going back. Old thought revisited."
M: "Ooh I'm totally making that movie."
A: "That's a movie?"
M: "It will be!!"
L: "Reactionary!"

"I like dragging cords. It makes me feel like I have a pet."

Oh, and btw Ms. Murphy:
We broke the shade. Our bad. -Class V

So the finale before the hiatus was last night. They get into the maintenance room, and guess what - they put a pipe in through the grate. So now they can't get in. But then future husband #2 pulls a switchblade and says to future husband #1 sorry pretty that's not an option. And the FH #1 starts like crying. And brother of FH#1 is like dammit now i'm gonna die. And that's it. UNTIL FUCKING MARCH!!!!! (OK it sounds a lot more anticlimactic than it was.) I'm going to go into Wentworth(aka my advisor)-separation anxiety :( Grr he has no movies coming up.

Yes, I realize nobody is going to understand that. Oh well.

Not much happening. Mather was fun today - he read for a long time! I was happy. Anddd...yeah. OK i have to go find some dinner and ponder doing my bio HW.

Well, I had a dream
I stood beneath an orange sky

( just for kicks and giggles )

Ew. Kill Ms. Becker for me, somebody. Je deteste l'Instrumentale. This new really-for-guitar-but-i'm-lazy-so-do-it-on-piano thing is bull. >:( Those don't look like eyebrows at all. Oh well.

Scandal @ school today. But I feel kind of bad, because everybody knows...and that's no fun. I would hate to have to call my parents with that. *shiver* Now Ms. Murphy will never <3 us. Peer Support was good. No food or Phoebe, but we stil had...fun...(having awkward silences at 10 seconds after the minute and discussing whether or not to name dead babies were highlights of our animated conversation.)

And now...no school! woot woot. *team-caty-rea-is-the-best-it-is-my-life-yee-aah* Sorry, random Serve-a-thon outburst. Tomorrow is cooking/RENT day (yayyy) and then Thanksgiving. aka the bestest holiday ever. Food-->Lions-->Charlie Brown-->Finding Nemo-->Leftovers. Who could ask for more?

Ok. I'm going a la supermarche.

...and you're Mary Tyler Moore.

Wow. Two days in a row! I really have no reason to write, I just don't feel like doing my English paper. Papers over the weekend are hell. Hmm...I'm on a music binge. I've gone from 1100 to 1176 songs in one week. Pretty good, huh? Oh, watch the Bee Season trailer because...Max Minghella ( eh? eh? )...and the song is sweet. Ok...I'll go do my English hw. *pout*

I don't know how I managed before I figured out my code...this was like a 5-line entry, and I have a cut with text, an image link, bold, and italics. My entries must have been so boring! :D

It’s the smoke and the drinks and the smiles that it brings
It's a desperate race for desperate people, to find their place before desperate heroes

It's been a while. I haven't kicked the habit yet, though - I'm still always writing these in my head. Oh well :(

Petey says: "Google the Subways because they rock." Who knows, maybe he actually did. Yes, I'm being weird and cryptic. Get over it.

Life's pretty good. RENT on wednesday <-- my life from now on. If Chris kills this, I will kill him and you know it. And we saw le goblet du feu (?) yesterday and it was awesome. The scene with Harry in the bathtub was a universally acknowledged highlight (who knew our buddy Dan had a six-pack?) Cedric's amazing. Viktor...kind of a perv. Cho has an awesome accent, even though there was no growling (rawr.) Oh, and Harry and Ron are gay lovers - but we all knew that. This entry is like overtaken by parentheticals. I just can't keep a train of thought, evidently.

Midterm was Weds. Not failing anything, although I was worried about Health for a minute there. *phew*

I don't really have much more to say. So...talk later. yay.

My back is turned, a halo for my soul for a while
I tried to let you know discomfort comes clearly when I shout.

:) i wish. so this is quick parce que I have to go to crew, but I just wanted to share that I definitely jumped up and down when I saw this new coolio My LJ thing. Its pretty gosh darn sa-weet. And that is all.

*mwah*

1. Open a music player.
2. Go to 'all music'/'library'.
3. Hit shuffle/repeat/randomise.
4. Find photos of the first dozen artists/bands that come up (no repeats and no cheating).
5. Have people guess who the artists/bands are.
6. Paste this in your journal and do it too, so I can have fun guessing as well!

*I put the answers to all of them up, for anyone who is curiouso. The ones nobody got are starred.*

( comment-whoring )

So I just had this huge argument with my mom (about nothing, as usual) and I got really upset. But I just did my usual routine: two sad songs, one angry song, and one inspirational song. And now I'm good to go. Yay.
There's not really much to say about this week so, song lyrics, I guess.

be my friend
hold me
wrap me up
unfold me
I am small
and needy
warm me up
and breathe me

This is the most beautiful (and extremely sad) story. Read it. Please.

And there's three, count 'em, three, children playing on the beach. They were eager to learn, to be taught, and to teach. There's Veronica, she's biting her lip as she watches the waves turn white at the tips. Then there's Veda, radiating with joy - luckily she still can't stand the sight of a boy. Lastly, there's Dave. His hair dances in the wind and he's wondering what love is. And why it has to end. And he can't understand how everyone goes on breathing when true love ends. His mother whispers quietly, "Heaven's not a place that you go when you die. It's that moment in life when you actually feel alive. So live for the moment and take this advice. Live by every word - love is just a hoax so forget everything that you have heard. And live for the moment now."
And there's three, count 'em three, children growing on the beach. They were eager to learn, to be taught, and to teach. There's Veronica, she's licking her lips as she waits for her real first passionate kiss. And there's Veda, who can't admit her jealousy of her sister Veronica, and how she's so pretty. And lastly there's Dave, still sitting on the dock - he ponders his life and he skips his rocks and he wonders when his father will return. But he's not coming back. And he can't understand how everyone goes on breathing when true love ends. His mother whispers quietly, "Heaven's not a place that you go when you die. It's that moment in life when you actually feel alive. So live for the moment and take this advice. Live by every word - love is just a hoax so forget everything that you have heard."
And there's three, count 'em three, children missing from the beach. They were eager to learn, to be taught, and to teach. But the sad thing is that they never lived past the age of fifteen, due to neglect from their mother who was bedridden by her ex-lover, their father. And she didn't even notice or pay much attention as the tide came in and and swept her three into the ocean. Now all her advice, it seems useless. No, heaven's not a place that you go when you die, it's that moment in life when you touch her and you feel alive. So live for the moment, and take this advice, live by every word. Love's completely real, so forget anything that you have heard. And live for the moment now.

-The Tide by the Spill Canvas

I never have time to write anymore. Oh well. It's been a week since last time, I think. Or 6 days. I haven't done much either way. I'm really tired for no real reason (except for being up last night watching Twitches! YES!) And the regatta this morning like completely failed because the ONE other team we were racing didn't show up, so we just raced against ourselves. Definitely an excuse for a Saturday practice.

All week I'm like oh I should write that in my LJ and now I have nothing to say.

Oh, I finally saw the Dance, Dance video (ridiculously delayed, yes. but better late than never) and laughed a lot. "So...it's a, um, dance, you know. Yeah. So I thought, um, that maybe you'd, um..." "C'mon ladies! Break it up!" YAY. I less than three those boys.

The assembly on Thursday was the shit. Like, really. First all the Yankees fan teachers did this very well-written :^) Wizard of Oz skit and then we watched that Faith Rewarded movie. The interview of a shirtless Johnny Damon was a high point. High Holidays are the best.

I still have no Halloween costume. And who knows whether I'm going to the Masquerade Ball or not...anyone let me know if you're going or if you have any non-I'd-never-wear-this-to-a-dance costume suggestions.

( Things that made me laugh this week )

*Sometimes I think Pete Wentz makes my life worthwhile :^)*

...it's not me, it's not me.

Or maybe it is. Hey - it's been a while, je sais, but I just can't motivate myself to write lately. Not much is up. Or down. The rooms have a hint of asbestos and maybe just a dash of formaldehyde. What a wonderful caricature of intimacy. Sorry - I'm not really moody or anything, I just feel like lyric-writing. I had like 5 quizzes/tests this week, but I think (OK, hope) that I did alright. I had a family reunion today. Ew. Everyone's like "Oh! It's Benny's great-granddaughter! You're getting so tall! How old are you now?" "14." "Goodness, you make me feel so old!" "That's because you are." No, I didn't really say that last part, but I thought it. Bad me. The Housatonic was pretty good. I was in the junior race instead of the novice (it's one level better) so that was good. And we probably came in like last but whatever...It was so disgusting out though. Humid and rainy and we had to do a wet launch and carry the boat barefoot (through disgusting mud). The bus ride was fun though.

OK. I'm done now, I think. Have to go debate about what we're doing for dinner.

But what if the pages stay pressed,
the chapters unfinished,
the stories too dull to unfold?

*Her Clothes Off//P!ATD


I've been addicted to you...

So. 80's dance. Reasonably fun. ish. The beginning kind of sucked and I kept being introduced to people I already knew which made me feel shitty that they didn't know that they knew me. (incoherent run-on?) But then they played some awesome songs and it got slightly funner. I cried a tiny bit once, but nobody noticed. That guy with a dog's name was pretty damn hot, Caty. And those bastard guys charged me $8. Grr. Oh, and I felt better about myself that nobody danced with me because nobody danced with anyone. Meredith, thanks for cheering me up a little - I think it's wishful thinking, but who knows, you may be right. *Testosterone boys and harlequin girls...*

Today's the game. YAY. I was SOOO happy when they won last night. And I'm très psyched to go today. I hope they kick some Yankee ass. And then tomorrow...Textile. Cool beans (haha). I'm a little nervous, but also pretty confident.

I'm so hollow, baby.
So hollow.

I'm too tired for my own words.

So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.

Stop stalling
Make a name for yourself
Boy you better put that pen to paper and charm your way out
If you talk
You better walk
You better back your shit up
With more than good hooks

So I guess we're back to us
Oh cameraman, swing the focus!
In case I lost my train of thought where was it that we last left off ?
Lets pick up pick up
Oh now I do recall
We just were getting to the part...

Let's get these teen hearts beating
Faster
I've got more wit
A better kiss
A hotter touch
A better fuck
Than any boy you'll ever meet
Sweetie you had me


Today is where your book begins. The rest is still unwritten.


Behold my weird and varied emotions. In song lyrics.

...but I ain't got wings.

Yellow.

I'm going to England tonight! Yay. I'm excited to see everyone again - it'll be really fun. Except for all this crappy homework I have to make up. Boo. So I was kinda confused about this new girl who is like suddenly better friends with all my friends than me...so I tried to be nice and make friends with her but she won't really talk to me and we don't have any classes together or anything so it's not really working. But I'm not as worried about it anymore. and OMG Lost last night? OMG OMG OMG. "Brother!" And then when Walt was all wet? Damn, that creeped me out.

OK - be back on Monday night! *hugs*

Boo! You whore. (Regina <3)

[61 Days]

no, no, he called in.

My shoulders are SO unbelievably stiff and sore this morning. Between running and rowing, my upper back is dead. But it wasn't that bad. Except that they never told us who won! Grr. I downloaded like 50 songs this morning because I haven't had time lately. And I made a playlist. And I laughed at my weird and varied music tastes:

It'll All Work Out//Tom Petty
Soul Meets Body//DCFC
More Bounce In California//Soul Kid #1
Save It For Later//Five Times August
My Father's Gun//Elton John (REALLY good song)
Popular//Nada Surf
Many Men (Wish Death)//50 Cent
The Ghost of You//MCR
Pretty Girl (The Way)//Sugarcult (Yes, I know this is the Alex M./Jason breakup song and I'm not afraid to admit that)
Undone (The Sweater Song)//Weezer
Time To Dance (Demo)//P!ATD

Talk about a mixtape. And I wanted to get Jesus Is A Crossmaker by the Hollies but I couldn't find it. *pout*

I'm defrosting my dinner. Yum yum. Although I sauteed some bananas in butter, honey, cinnamon, and a dash of tia maria and...mmmm...

I was going to do another inside joke entry but now I can't remember anything from yesterday! This entry will probably have a lot of edits as I remember...

"...when we're on our sailboat. Wait a sec. I don't have a sailboat. And who's we?" - Caty

"We already have two mice, we don't need a third." (Becca)
"Who's the third mouse?" (Me)
"Harriet" (B)
"Harriet...Goober? Why don't we like her?" (M)
"No, not Harriet Goober, Harriet Tubman. aka Harry Tubman." (B)
"Ohh." (M)

"We're being denied. We're being denied. We're being denied..." - Caty

"No way!" -Christen
"Way...way."(in a stoner voice)- Jamie

definitely more to come

*shut your mouth (summer song)//fob
[mood|overwhelmed]

thank you dubya.

I have a weird gross ear infection thing. Ew. But we don't have to go into that.

So today at practice we went to the boathouse, which was good except i was one of like the only three novices who didn't get to row. pout. I still have never been in a boat. Not cool. Hopefully, I'll be able to this week though.

That's kind of all that happened today -- two hour classes but they weren't that bad. I emailed the people for MUN and Mather in the winter so that's done. And...yeah.

whatevs. :^)

Oh there was this weird coincidence with this guy who I used to go to school with and Tommi randomly giving out my number - jj :^) - but thats kinda boring too.

I give up.

If I die tomorrow
would this song live on forever?

EDIT//myspace isn't working. *flails*